Now that I’m finally back online, I can get back to my original, though delayed, plan of one review per day.
Today's review will be of a very unique title for a very unique console.
- Game: I Will: The Story of London
- Console: MegaLD (Mega Drive LaserDisc)
- Developer: Pioneer
- Publisher: Pioneer
- Release Year: 1993
- Region/Language: NTSC-J / English/Japanese
- Genre: Adventure / Interactive Movie
- Purchase Location: Pink Godzilla - Seattle, WA
- Purchase Price: $
- Purchase Year: 2008
- Review Platform: LaserActive with Mega Drive module
Apparently, if I can understand enough from the horrible British acting, someone stole Mark Twain’s “Alpha Ozone” from a sealed vault somewhere around London, England. Don’t ask me what the hell “Alpha Ozone” is, but apparently it’s quite marvelous and must be returned to its rightful owner. Twain’s lovely assistant immediately declares that you, “Sherlock” must assist her in getting back the “Alpha Ozone”!
How does one start looking for a missing item in England? Why, by going to ask your father for advice. Never mind that he hasn’t been involved in the case at any point in time, nor does it look like he ever leaves his house. (I can tell he never leaves his house because he’s never been to his acting lessons. Yikes.) After you leave, you get to engage in a thrilling two-dimensional driving simulator reminiscent of Grand Theft Auto to get from point A to point B. This should set the game up enough for you to get the point.
Graphics: Compared to other consoles’ “Interactive Movie” fare of the early-to-mid nineties multimedia fad, the full-motion video of this LaserActive title is actually very decent. While not up to modern DVD or HD quality, being analog video based on a LaserDisc, it far surpassed the digitally-compressed video of the Sega CD, 3DO and CD-i. There are gorgeous video shots of the greater London area, including the London Bridge, the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace and Trafalgar Square.
There are also shots of the not-so-gorgeous British populace, but I digress.
The interspersed driving game appears as crisp and vivid as it would on my $35.00 Super Nintendo, except with more awesome since it’s on my $1,000.00 LaserActive.
Sound: The audio in this game is quite up to snuff, especially being as it’s outputting over an optical connection and is streaming from a LaserDisc. The music in the investigative scenes is quite haunting and will stick with you for quite some time, even if it does get repetitive just an hour into the game.
The voice acting was obviously done on some very expensive equipment. Unfortunately, as Gerard Way has proven time and time again, even the most top of the line audio equipment cannot make a shitty voice sound good. The acting is just rubbish. I’ve seen better acting on PBS at 5:30 in the morning sitting in my living room with nothing but boxer shorts on gently nursing my beer. Even the spaced-out junkie Mark Twain looking professor guy’s character can’t overcome the lack of acting ability.
I watch the Teletubbies for Christ’s sake, and I still think this is worse acting-wise.
Controls: The controls are what you’d expect of from a Genesis controller. They’re tight, but I hate the shape of the controller itself. There’s no option to play the game with the LaserActive remote, just the Genesis controller. The driving game controls very well, with hairpin turns around every corner.
Gameplay: 95% of your gaming experience is supposed to consist of being immersed in the gorgeous videos finding clues as to the whereabouts of the mysterious “Alpha Ozone”, with the other 5% being the driving game, getting to the various locations in London.
Too bad reality doesn’t mesh up so well with the design. 15% of your time is spent viewing unique videos of beautiful, historic places in England’s capital, while 35% of your time is spent watching the same videos again and again because chicky’s dad keeps telling you to go back to the Tower of London (for the twelfth time in as many minutes.)
This wouldn’t be so infinitely frustrating if the other 50% weren’t taken up by the mother***ing driving game. I swear to God, game designers haven’t learned in 3 decades of game making not to put this time-wasting repetitive garbage in their games!
Verdict: With the inane gameplay, shoddy acting and a story that would only appeal to Jeff Spiccoli, I’d pass on this game at full price in an instant. This game is worth ownership if you already have a LaserActive, or are planning on owning one and you find it for about $20.00 or under. According to the "eBay Blue Book" the going price for a copy of this game is around $120.00. With the graphics being the only truly stellar aspect of the game, I hereby rule: Caveat Gamer.
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