Review 003 - May 11, 2008 – Nintendo Famicom – Yume Penguin Monogatari

Today’s review will be of a penguin-weight-loss platform game.

• Game: Yume Penguin Monogatari
• Console: Nintendo Famicom Cartridge
• Developer: Konami
• Publisher: Konami
• Release Year: 1991
• Region/Language: NTSC-J / Japanese with some very basic English
• Genre: Platformer / Side-Scrolling Shooter
• Purchase Location: Pink Godzilla - Seattle, WA
• Purchase Price: $34.99
• Purchase Year: 2007
• Review Platform: Nintendo Famicom (round-button original)

Yume Penguin Monogatari is exactly what I said – a game featuring an overweight penguin named Penta, whose girlfriend Penko has left him for the more tempting life of wealth and security with evil sado-masochist penguin Ginji. Why would this lying tramp give up years of happiness with Penta? Why, because he’s grown too fat for her delicate sensibilities of course. Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to lose as much weight as you can before getting to the end of the level.

If you should fail in the quest, Penko chides you over the phone that you’re a fatty and will never get to be with her luscious and ample penguin bosom again. She then hangs the phone up and gives Ginji the blowjob of his life right then and there, but the phone didn’t completely hang up so Penta listens helplessly whilst becoming more and more depressed and ultimately penguin-an-heroes himself. Okay, maybe that doesn’t happen, but it’s sure as hell implied.

If you succeed in keeping the weight off (achieved by drinking diet drinks, not by exercising or eating healthy) to the end of the level, Penko is overjoyed! She gives you a few words of encouragement or something and you go off to the next level in an elated mood. This goes on for seven levels until you finally get a chance to beat the F out of the son-of-a-mother who stole your penguin poontang.

Graphics: The graphics in Yume Penguin are very clear and crisp. There’s a reason Konami dominated the NES/Famicom and part of that is the slick and impressive visuals they cranked out on a routine basis. The penguin sprites are very well drawn - especially Penta, who gains weight from the slightest touch of anything. It’s so amazing to see a fit and trim penguin fighting machine morph into an enormous blob of fat in just an instant.

The enemies are amusing and colorful. One fires rocket-propelled roasted pigs at you, and still others throwing such high-fat items as apples and watermelon at you. I’ll have to try the rocket-propelled pig sometime. Yum!

Sound: The music is extremely Konami. That is, it’s very clear, cheerful, well orchestrated and fits the title exactly. It doesn’t get too tedious and maintains the feeling that this is all a silly game played in a silly world full of rocket-propelled pigs.

The sound effects are perfect and don’t sound out of place throughout.

Controls: Controls are tight and responsive. This is all I really have to say about that. The Famicom had 4 buttons and a direction pad. And a 12 inch cord permanently attached to the console. There’s not much to say other than that!

Gameplay: This is an extremely fun game! I cannot say that enough. Between the cutscenes involving obsessive eating, the rocket-propelled pigs, and the absurd weight-loss story, this game maintains a very good sense of humor that permeates different cultures with ease – even if the text is all in Japanese you can still understand the emotions and situations.

The difficulty is easy in the first level, but the first flying level was a pain in the ass for me the first few runs, and then eased out a bit. The difficulty overall is average.

Verdict: This is a game that you should own if you have a Famicom. No excuses, go out and buy it!